Writing and Publishing an Obituary: A Practical Guide
I've been helping people with obituaries for years now, usually at 11 PM when everyone realizes they should have started sooner. The whole process is more straightforward than most people expect, but there are a few things that trip everyone up. Here's what actually matters. When you're writing an obituary, the first thing you need to do is gather the facts. Full name, date of birth, date of death, city of residence. Basic stuff. Then you dig into the biographical details - education, career, military service if applicable, memberships, hobbies. The obituary for Vaughan Guynn followed this same structure, and it worked because it was concrete rather than vague. Here's the part most people mess up. You need to decide on the tone before you start writing. Some families want it formal and traditional. Others prefer something warmer and more personal. There's no wrong answer, but once you pick a direction, stick with it. I've seen obituaries that swing from stiff institutional language to casual anecdotes within three paragraphs, and it reads like two different people wrote it.
For the actual writing, keep it to about 200 to 500 words. Anything longer and people stop reading. I once spent forty minutes editing a 1,200-word obituary down to 380 words. The family thought the shorter version was cold. It wasn't. It was just efficient. The extra 800 words were mostly lists of surviving relatives that would appear in the funeral program anyway.
Where to Publish
Newspapers are still the main venue, but they charge by the line or by the inch, and the rates have gone up significantly. A standard obituary in a local paper will run you anywhere from $150 to $400. Memorial websites and online newspaper archives are often free or much cheaper. My approach is to publish in one major newspaper and then cross-post to a memorial site like Legacy.com or a dedicated page on the funeral home's website. The obituary for Vaughan Guynn appeared in several outlets. That's not unusual. Families often choose multiple publications to reach different circles of friends and colleagues. The content should be essentially the same across all of them. Don't write separate versions unless there's a reason - different audiences might warrant slightly different emphasis, but the core information stays consistent.
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Common Mistakes
The biggest mistake I see is rushing. People wait until after the funeral service to write the obituary, which means they're dealing with grief while also trying to meet a publication deadline. Most newspapers want it submitted 24 to 48 hours before the edition goes to print. Plan ahead. Have someone draft it before the service even happens. Another issue is the Survived By section. People either leave it out entirely or make it impossibly long. A reasonable approach is to list immediate family - spouse, children, parents, siblings. Grandchildren and extended family can be mentioned more broadly, like "survived by five grandchildren" rather than listing each name. Unless the family specifically wants every name included, which is fine, but it does take up space. Don't forget the service details. Time, date, location. Whether it's a burial or cremation. Whether donations should go to a particular charity instead of flowers. This is practical information that people actually need. I've seen too many obituaries that skip this because the family assumed it would be announced separately. It won't. Include it in the obituary itself.
The Legacy Section
This is where you capture what the person was actually like. Not just what they did for work, but who they were. Vaughan Guynn's obituary highlighted his contributions and the way he affected people around him. That's the right approach. Specific details beat generic praise every time. "He volunteered at the local food bank for twelve years" means more than "he was a generous man." You can do both, but lead with the specific. If you're stuck on what to include, ask people who knew the deceased. Sometimes a single story from a coworker or an old friend captures the essence better than a hundred words you could come up with yourself. I usually suggest gathering two or three short anecdotes and weaving them in naturally rather than making them stand out as quoted stories. The photos matter too. Pick one clear, recent photo. Not a group shot where nobody's face is visible. Not a heavily filtered image. Just a good, recognizable portrait. Most publications allow one photo for free, and some charge extra for additional images.
Final Checks Before Submission
Read it out loud. If you stumble over a sentence while reading it aloud, rewrite that sentence. Check all the dates. Double-check the spelling of every name, especially for surviving family members. Misspelling a relative's name in an obituary is a mistake you can't take back, and it comes up more often than you'd think. Have at least one other person review it before submission. A fresh set of eyes will catch errors you've become blind to after reading the same paragraph fifteen times. This is non-negotiable. I learned that the hard way early on, and I haven't skipped that step since. Keep a copy for your records. Once it's published, you may want to archive it. Some newspapers only keep digital versions for a limited time, and physical copies get lost or thrown away. Save a PDF or take a screenshot of the online version.
The whole process doesn't have to be overwhelming. You're documenting a life, not writing a novel. Clarity and accuracy matter more than eloquence. People will remember the information, not the prose. Focus on getting the facts right and including what felt meaningful, and that's enough.
