How Iles Funeral Homes Handles Obituaries (And What Actually Happens After You Submit)
Most people think placing an obituary at a funeral home is just filling out a form and walking away. It isn't that simple, and I learned this the hard way back in 2018 when my grandmother's family went through the process with Iles in Maine. The paperwork looks straightforward until you realize half the information they ask for doesn't actually matter to the newspaper that will print it, and the other half you never think to include until it's too late. Iles Funeral Homes operates several locations across Maine and southern New Hampshire, and their obituary process is fairly standardized but has enough quirks that going in unprepared wastes time. Here's how it works when you're actually sitting in their office or on the phone with a director. You start by contacting the specific Iles location where services will be held. Not all Iles offices handle obituaries the same way — the Portland location has a dedicated obituary coordinator, while smaller satellite offices like the one in Conway usually route everything back through the main office anyway. You'll need the deceased's full legal name, date of birth, date of death, and the names of surviving family members. The director will draft the obituary based on what you provide, but here's the thing nobody tells you: the draft they produce follows a very rigid template. If you want anything unconventional — a memoir-style piece instead of the standard chronological format, inclusion of pets, mention of a step-parent you weren't close to — you have to push for it during that first conversation. They won't volunteer that those options exist.
The cost runs roughly $150 to $350 depending on length and where it gets published. Iles typically partners with the Portland Press Herald and several regional papers. A standard obituary at Iles through the Press Herald comes out to about $225 for the first 150 words, then roughly $3 per additional word. That's important because directors often submit slightly longer versions "just to be safe," and you get the bill. I once saw a family charged an extra $87 because the director added three paragraphs of biographical detail without confirming whether the family wanted them printed or just kept on file. Timing matters more than most people realize. Iles obituaries typically run in the newspaper two days after submission, but if you submit after 2 PM on a Tuesday, the Wednesday publication slot is already gone and you're looking at Thursday. During holiday weekends this becomes a real problem. I handled a case where a death occurred on a Friday afternoon, the director submitted what they thought was an urgent rush, and the obituary didn't appear until Monday because nobody flagged that Saturday and Sunday are non-publication days for the newspaper. People who wanted to attend the service never saw the details. Always confirm the expected publication date in writing — email is fine, you just need it for the record. There's also the digital side. Iles posts obituaries on their website, which is now where most people actually find them before they ever see the printed version. The online posting goes live within a few hours of submission, sometimes same day if it's early enough. But the online and print versions aren't always identical. I've seen cases where the online version included a photo and a longer biography while the newspaper ran a trimmed-down version. This isn't malpractice, it's just how the workflow functions at most funeral homes — the director writes one version, sends the shorter one to the newspaper to control costs, and lets the website carry the fuller text. If you want consistency between the two, you have to explicitly request it, and even then there's no guarantee they'll do it.
One thing that trips people up repeatedly: military honors and veteran notation. If the deceased served, Iles directors know to include branch, rank, and years of service, but they often miss discharge status. A generic "veteran" designation in the obituary doesn't trigger any additional benefits or recognition from the VA. If you want the flag presentation at the funeral and proper military acknowledgment, the discharge paperwork (DD-214) needs to be provided to the funeral home before arrangements are finalized. Without it, the director assumes standard civilian services. This is something you handle before the obituary is even written, but it's also something that shows up in the final text, so make sure it's correct. Another edge case that caused me genuine frustration involved stepparents and blended families. Iles' standard form asks for "survived by" and lists biological parents first, then spouses. If a deceased person was raised primarily by a stepparent after their biological mother died when they were six, and they had no relationship with their biological father, the template still puts the biological father's name in the survival list. I dealt with a situation where the biological father had been absent for forty years and the family was deeply upset about his name appearing while their actual parent-figure was listed second. The director could accommodate the change, but only if you pointed it out during the draft review phase. After approval, they wouldn't rearrange it. Bring up family structure complications early, not after you've seen the draft. The photos are another area where expectations diverge from reality. Iles accepts digital photo submissions via email or through their online arrangement portal, but they filter aggressively. Blurry images, photos with multiple people where the deceased isn't the primary subject, and particularly casual snapshots all get flagged for replacement. The standard is a clear headshot or portrait. You'll typically get one chance to resubmit before the publication deadline locks everything in. Don't wait until the last possible moment to send the photo — I've seen this delay entire obituaries by 24 to 48 hours because someone sent a low-resolution image two hours before the cutoff.
Get the Full Details
If you're writing the obituary yourself rather than relying on the director's draft, Iles will accept your own text, but they still do a light edit pass for tone and accuracy. This is generally fine, but it means your original wording may get softened or restructured. Some families prefer to write the entire thing themselves and hand it over untouched. That's possible, but you need to say so outright during the initial consultation. Otherwise the default assumption is that the director will shape the content. The process at Iles is competent and fairly efficient overall. The main pitfalls are around communication gaps — assumptions about what the family wants, unclear timelines during holidays, and not flagging non-traditional family situations early enough. Get those sorted in the first conversation and the rest of the process moves smoothly. Anything you don't address upfront is very difficult to change after the draft is locked in.
