Writing Obituaries That Actually Work
Most funeral home obituaries read like boilerplate templates stuffed with vague praise. People want something better, and honestly, it is not that hard to achieve if you stop treating it like a required form and start treating it like a document people will actually read and keep. I have spent more time than I care to admit digging through old funeral home websites trying to figure out which ones actually put real effort into their obituary sections. Pellerin Funeral Home stands out because they do not just publish a death notice and move on. They structure their online obituaries to include biographical depth, timeline markers, and space for family contributions. The difference matters when you are trying to preserve something accurate about a person instead of recycling the same three paragraphs that show up on half the obituaries in the state. The workflow at Pellerin typically goes through their website submission portal or directly through a funeral director who manages the digital side. You fill out the standard fields — full name, date of birth, date of passing, surviving family, predeceased relatives, service details — but then there is a separate section for the narrative biography where you get to write about the actual life. That is the part most people rush through or skip entirely.
Here is what I learned the hard way. When I was helping my uncle compile an obituary for his father, we initially submitted a draft that was almost entirely lists. Dates, employers, organizations. It read like a resume nobody asked for. The funeral director at Pellerin pointed out that this was technically acceptable but it was missing the one thing that makes people stop scrolling and actually absorb the content. We rewrote it with a chronological narrative that included two specific anecdotes — one about his work as a machinist and one about his habit of fixing every broken appliance in the neighborhood without being asked. The published version ran about twice as long, but comments from people who barely knew him still showed up days later saying those details helped them remember who he actually was. If you are going through Pellerin's system yourself, here is the practical process. You will need the basic vital statistics first. Full legal name, any middle names or nicknames you want included, Social Security number is sometimes requested for record purposes but not always required for the public obituary itself. Then gather the survivor list — spouse, children, grandchildren, and sometimes siblings or close friends if the family wants them included. Service information comes next. Date, time, location of the visitation, the funeral or memorial service, and where the interment takes place. If there is a reception or gathering after, include that too. The narrative section is where you spend the most time. Start with where and when the person was born. Move through education, military service if applicable, career highlights, community involvement, hobbies, and the qualities people actually noticed about them. Keep it factual but specific. Instead of saying he was kind, describe what that kindness looked like in practice. Instead of saying she loved her family, name the rituals that defined those relationships. This approach usually takes about forty-five minutes to an hour for someone with a moderately complex life, versus ten minutes if you are just filling in the required fields.
There is a cost to doing it this way. Longer obituaries cost more to publish in some paper formats because fees are structured by the line or word. Pellerin's digital obituaries do not charge extra for length, which is one reason I recommend prioritizing the written content over trying to compress everything into a bare minimum. But if you are submitting to both their website and a local newspaper, expect to pay between eighty and two hundred dollars depending on the publication, and the newspaper may enforce a stricter word limit that forces you to trim the narrative section down to a paragraph or two. One thing the system does not handle well is editing after publication. I learned this when we caught a typo in the second version of my grandfather's obituary — his sister's name was misspelled. Pellerin's staff was willing to correct it, but the update was not instantaneous. The original version had already circulated on social media and been picked up by other sites. The corrected version went live within a few hours, but you cannot assume people will see the fix. Always triple-check spelling of every name, especially extended family members, before you hit submit. Have at least two other people read it aloud before you do. This step saves you from having to go back and fix mistakes under time pressure while everyone is already emotionally drained. Another nuance that is worth noting. Some people prefer the obituary to read like a traditional formal announcement, while others want it to feel personal and conversational. Neither approach is wrong, but they require different writing styles. Formal obituaries follow a predictable structure and use measured language. Personal ones can include humor, specific memories, and even mild irreverence if it fits the person's character. Pellerin's platform accommodates both, but mixing tones in a single piece usually results in something that feels inconsistent. Pick one direction and stick with it.
Get the Full Details
If Pellerin is not available in your area, look for funeral homes that offer similar digital obituary platforms with dedicated narrative sections. Some smaller homes still rely entirely on newspaper submissions, which means your options are constrained by the newspaper's word count and pricing structure. Larger chains sometimes have their own website builders that are more flexible. The key is to find whichever option gives you the most room to write without charging extra per word or per line. The obituary is the last official document you create for someone. It is also the one that survives longest in search results and archive collections. Writing it carefully, even when you do not feel like it, is worth the effort. Not for the funeral home. Not for the website traffic. For the people who will read it ten years from now and finally understand something they did not know about the person they lost.
